But I Have Promises To Keep

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

While her hands worked on his shoulders it gave her the time to quietly reach out and read the whirlwind of emotions coming off him, something she did not see every day. Time Lords were notoriously good at hiding their true feelings. It was more then what the TARDIS had done to him that made him like this, or it had triggered something that Robin rather not had remembered.
She patted his shoulder gently before she moved around him, taking a seat next to him. Only then did she see a strange shaped mirror in his hand and she looked at it in surprise. It wasn't a Shifting Silver, she had never seen anything like it before. But before she could comment on it he interrupted her. She gave a soft chuckle at his words.

"I never did tell you where I exactly came from Robin and what happened there. Even though it made me into what I am right now, I would rather die here with you then go back to that world. I've lost so much in that place, I thought I had an unexpected ray of light for the first time in the years I had been there, only to have it.. prematurely removed from me again." Her jaw clenched. She took a deep breath through her nose before she continued again. "When I fell through the rift in Cardiff, not only was it the first time I had seen grass in 9 years, it was the first time I had seen sunshine in 9 years. That I had breathed in real air and not pumped in oxygen. Everything bloody died around me in that place, the amounts of casualty were so severe I could not keep up with my healing. I served as a midwife to the women to see infants being born with horrible deformities thanks to radiation damage or just sheer starvation. And there was nothing.I.could.do." She ground out the last words.

"I have a sneaking suspicion the fact I keep travelling with you through time and space and the fact you are here is the only reason my father hasn't come to say 'Hi' yet. If I die in this place, with you at least I had a death I could live with, so to say. It doesn't matter what you will say Robin, I have no choice but to follow you as long as my father hasn't been dealt with. And right now, I'm not ready to face him. I can barely keep up with you for crying out loud!"

She sat back and rubbed the bridge of her nose with leather clad fingers, she felt a headache coming on. She sighed. "I remember the word on the watch, the golden watch. The Key. It said 'Xandavier'. I'm not sure what it means, is it Gallifreyan?" She stopped rubbing her face and turned her eyes back at him again, finally following down at the mirror he was still clutching in his hand.

"Robin.. what is that exactly?" Something behind the TARDIS control shifted, scurrying under one of the panels.

[The First Doctor]

The Meddler listened, finishing off his coffee as Sisi spoke first. He listened to her describe the horrors she had seen, the fear she had felt, and he nodded in sympathy. "Well," he said, as she took a breath, "we're far more alike than I had realized. Two refugees from Hell."

He took a deep breath, getting ready to explain what he was going to do and why he wanted her to stay away - he didn't, really, but the thought of her dying for him was worse than the thought of her leaving. But she continued speaking.

She sat back and rubbed the bridge of her nose with leather clad fingers, she felt a headache coming on. She sighed. "I remember the word on the watch, the golden watch. The Key. It said 'Xandavier'. I'm not sure what it means, is it Gallifreyan?"

The mug - anodized stainless steel and insulating foam - slipped from nerveless fingers, clattering to the floor. His eyes had gone wide, his mouth slack with shock.

"The Council," he remembered saying, full or rage. "Part o' 'em, anyhow. Emmehujidat an' his lick-spittles Apollonilisaimistiri an' Jestelavistisimiril fer certain. Mebbe Xandavier as well."

"An' what happened?" His fists clenched. "Oi dunno, not fer certain. Some kinda meme. Supposed to make us afraid. Afraid o', o', o' the unknown. O' the alien, the different."

"Xandavier..." he whispered. "Xandavier," he repeated, his voice shaking with loathing. "I wondered where he went, how he managed to escape me..." He gave his niece a level look. "I really, really want to find him now," he said, snarling. "I'll mount him as a figurehead, let him scream into the Vortex for eternity."

"Robin.. what is that exactly?" Sisi asked - as much to change the subject, he guessed, as anything else.

He looked at the Mirror, seemed surprised to be holding it. "This?" he asked, mounting it back on the wall. "It's my most successful attempt to date to manufacture a Shifting Silver." He leaned back, grateful it was no longer showing any images.

A man appeared and vanished, red-haired, with features like his own, mouth dripping with orange-red blood. Irritably, he threw a satin cloth over it.

"It... sort of works," he said. "It can create a moderately stable access node for the Tain Labyrinth, although I've never explored far in them. And it serves as a, well, as a scrying mirror."

He was quiet for a moment. "I've no idea why, though. I'm a psychic cripple. I can't project my thoughts, or hear them." His voice was hollow and distant and bitter as he spoke. "And yet it responds to them."

He glowered at the satin-covered Mirror for a moment, then sighed. "And I still haven't told you what we're doing."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

When the cup he had been holding clattered to the floor, spilling the bit of coffee that was left in there over the floor her eyes widened in surprise. She had expected the word Xandavier to be just that, a word. But the way Robin treated it it was a name. His reaction made it click, she clenched her fists. She hadn't meant to change the subject, just expected the word not to matter that much.

"That's his name isn't it, Xandavier. That's dad's real name, not Thomas. You knew him? Who is he Robin, what am I dealing with?" She asked with tension in her voice.

She sat back, shocked. She hadn't realised the Chameleon Arch was so good that Xandavier had been able to stay right under Robin's nose for years on end without Robin suspecting a thing. Her eyes slid to the control she saw stored away in a glass panel. Perhaps.. perhaps if everything else failed she one day would just use it on herself, if it worked on other species then Time Lords. She did not want to run from her father forever. She took a deep breath, deciding not to tell Robin of that little plan.

She eyed the mirror one more moment, she did see the face of the stocky redhead she had known well as a child, mouth covered in orange blood. Her mother had used scrying bowls often to see what was going on behind the veil. She had explained it to her as a child, had allowed her to try it herself a few times.

"Scrying mirrors react to thoughts, they're meant to do that. The mirror is a medium for you, you're absolutely not psychic crippled or else it wouldn't react, no one is we just choose subconsciously not to use the gift. You just haven't taken the bother yet to control it through training. When you do, you'll find that mirror will be less chaotic and more structured in what it shows you. All mammals have a third eye, better known as the Glandula Pinealis which connects that spot called the third eye on your forehead to the one in your brains. If you train it more often you'll find you'll sleep better as well, it's also responsible for the production of melatonin." She knew this because in the time she had come from there had been endless experiments on the case.

"What is curious though, is that the mirror you fabricated shows the images to me as well, scrying mediums are not meant to do that, at all. They're supposed to be personal."

[The First Doctor]

"That's his name isn't it, Xandavier. That's dad's real name, not Thomas. You knew him? Who is he Robin, what am I dealing with?" She asked with tension in her voice.

"I didn't know him," the Meddler snarled, struggling to contain his fury. "I knew of him. Subtle difference."

He leaned over and collected the coffee mug, using the distraction to regain some of his composure. "Your father is - well, was - one of the High Council. Real traditionalist. An isolationist. Thought Gallifrey wasted its time with diplomacy, that we should have simply ignored the Spiral Politic entirely, unless we had to impose our will on it in some fashion. Despised aliens."

He started to sip at his coffee, then glared at the mug irritably when he remembered it was empty. "He was also implicated in a plot to tamper with the minds of the children of my generation," he said, pouring himself another mug. "And in a second plot," three squirts of Tabasco went into the mug, "one designed to take a small group of those children - ten of them - and make them into weapons."

He sipped the absurdly strong, bitter brew. "Make us into weapons," he said, distantly.

Another swallow. "Long story short, I only found out about it a few years before the War started. He disappeared right around the same time - a victim of some particularly brutal power politics, I believe. I figured he was dead, and then I got distracted..."

Silence. "I never would have imagined that he was Thomas," he added. "Of course, in my personal time line, I knew him and your mother and you before I found out what he had done."

He drained the mug and refilled it. "So, after we get done with my errand - assuming I don't destabilize all spacetime within what would have been Gallifrey's light cone - what say we get down to the business of hunting him down?" His words sounded light, but his eyes were like flint. "Once we've got him, we can argue about which one of us has greater precedence for revenge, and what exactly we're going to do to him."

Sisi, though, was staring at the satin-covered Mirror. "Scrying mirrors react to thoughts, they're meant to do that. The mirror is a medium for you, you're absolutely not psychic crippled or else it wouldn't react, no one is we just choose subconsciously not to use the gift. You just haven't taken the bother yet to control it through training."

He laughed, low and bitter at that. "Twenty years of psychic training in the Academy, Sisi," he said. "Twenty years. Passing marks in telepathic and telempathic projection and reception." He stared at the Mirror as well. "I didn't pursue it with the same enthusiasm I pursued chronal engineering and temporal theory, but I was at least as good at it as any other Time Lord."

A shudder passed through him, as he remembered driving the shadows that cut through his own Loom, murdering himself as he was being woven.

"No, I am crippled. Self-inflicted, but no less real." He waved his hand vaguely around himself, uncomfortable. "My noosphere is... fractured. The thoughts and emotions of my other selves - Meddlers that could or would have been, if I had made different choices - constantly bleed through. It makes a... static, for lack of a better term. I can't project through it, because at any given moment it's almost guaranteed that there's another maybe-me doing something that cancels the signal out. And I can't hear through it, because the lone incoming signal gets split among all those alternate timelines."

He drank his coffee. "Unless the signal is powerful enough. And we saw what happens then, a few hours ago."

"When you do, you'll find that mirror will be less chaotic and more structured in what it shows you. All mammals have a third eye, better known as the Glandula Pinealis which connects that spot called the third eye on your forehead to the one in your brains. If you train it more often you'll find you'll sleep better as well, it's also responsible for the production of melatonin." She knew this because in the time she had come from there had been endless experiments on the case.

He nodded. "Gallifreyan brains have an analogous organ, although it has more to do with our connection to the flow of Time." A shrug. "And I sleep pretty well. I get a good, solid three hours every few months."

Then he laughed. "And you're doing a great job, pushing my buttons and keeping me from explaining what I'm going to be doing."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

"So wait, Xandavier wanted to experiment on children..?" She remained silent, her eyes moving and her mouth mumbling something incoherent, she was clearly thinking and starting to connect the dots. "Perhaps.. Perhaps that makes sense now. If he wanted to create a weapon he would put children in the perfect environment to make the best of them come out, an environment where one would completely have to rely on everything they had in order to just survive. That.. that so makes sense why he would never let me die. I've been in situation where I honestly should have died, but at the last moment I vanished and was transported somewhere else. Hell when I arrived in 21st century Japan for those brief two weeks I still had the small wound on my temple from where the bullet started penetrating my skin. He always put me in the worst type of environments but would never allow me to just die, even when I tried to do it myself.."

Green eyes looked back at Robin, to look for some kind of recognition, he knew better on how that Council worked. She frowned suddenly, her eyes staring away from his again. His story about the Academy passed her by completely, there were just moments when she was deep in thought that she would focus so much on that soul thing that all her other senses seemed numbed. Right now, her brain was wrecking itself to remember the brief few moments she had ever talked to her father. Only the strange wording of 'maybe-me' seemed to spark her out of it, her eyes clearing and turning back to Robin. So there were several versions of him that fed into that signal. She gave a short chuckle of the first thing that entered her mind.

"You probably gave all of them one hell of a migraine doing that then. And if I only got 3 hours once every few months I would be either dead or insane by now." She said with a bit of a smile. She slept a lot even for a Sidhe because the only way to quickly stock up on energy for her was sleeping.

She couldn't help but laugh aloud at his final remark, the sound merry. Indeed she was good at avoiding subjects, specially onces that included Robin doing potentially stupid things. She gave him a grin, not an unkind one. "But I live to serve thee my Lord! Fine I'll humour you, for now, do tell what it is we're going to be doing. After that I'm going to make some tea, or you won't be sleeping for years to come if you keep drinking that down." She nodded towards the nearly empty pot of ridiculously strong coffee.

[The First Doctor]

He nodded at Sisi's speculation about her father's - no Xandavier's, because surely a father wouldn't behave that way - motivations. "Makes sense," he agreed. "But, strangely, I find that I don't care what his motivations are."

The discussion about Xandavier continued, and he finally mentioned that she was deliberately changing the subject.

She gave him a grin, not an unkind one. "But I live to serve thee my Lord! Fine I'll humour you, for now, do tell what it is we're going to be doing. After that I'm going to make some tea, or you won't be sleeping for years to come if you keep drinking that down." She nodded towards the nearly empty pot of ridiculously strong coffee.

"If you want," he agreed. "But, as far as I'm concerned, tea is warm water with some dirt in it. And possibly milk and sugar."

His face grew serious. "As to what we're doing..?" He sighed. "Where do I start? Let's try this: it involves a war that never happened, between two powers of the Spiral Politic that never existed."

He fidgeted with the coffee cup. "It was us, and the Daleks. Each side had their reasons, and each side even believed they were the aggrieved party. And so, we went to war." He went silent for a moment. "The Last Great Time War."

His eyes flickered to the gentle rise and fall of the time rotor. "There is no other conflict that compares for horror. Civilizations murdered, reborn, and murdered again. Each side possessing the ability to travel back and change the outcome of any given war, so each side had to be able to counter that. Time itself twisted and distorted."

He sighed again. "It lasted, what? Eighty years for me, and I was a strategic asset and a researcher. Thousands of years, for some of the line troops - the Remotes, the regen-inf troopers, the 102 operators."

He paused. "Now I'm rambling. Near the end of the war, I stumbled upon the theory to build a weapon of inconceivable power. One that could capture the temporal information of a civilization and cage it within a Singularity - a black hole, if you will. Excise it from the universe. The star that gave the homeworld of that civilization birth would never ignite. It's planets would never form, never evolve life."

"At the end, even when we were losing, I refused to build it. When the Horde of Travesties transformed the eight decoy Homeworlds into charnel brothels, when the Nightmare Child tore our moon in half and rained it down on us, even when the Could've-been King turned on us all as the Dalek Fleet smashed open the transduction barriers..."

He shivered, lost in memories. "I couldn't. I've committed causal genocide before - it's an inevitable consequence of changing history. But the Moment was too monstrous..."

For a moment, he cannot go on. He swallows, tongue thick and lips dry. "But then, as the Daleks captured the Cruciform and advanced on the Panopticon, Rassilon proposed his Ultimate Sanction."

He can't speak. "It would have been the end of everything, Sisi," he whispers. "He would have preserved the Time Lords as beings of pure consciousness, fueling our transformation by annihilating the universe itself."

A deep breath. "And so I built the damned thing. And, it turned out, the Doctor used it. And just like that, the War was over. Had never been fought, because Skaro and Gallifrey had never existed. And then I went and hid myself under a rock, living as a human for thirty years in San Francisco, thinking I was the only one left and unable to live with what I'd done."

He forces himself to meet his niece's gaze. "And that's what I've got to open up. I've got to crack the Singularity wide and pull a biodata signature out. And I've got to do it without destroying myself, the TARDIS, or - if either side manages to escape - the universe itself."

He grins without humor. "Like I said, a damnfool crusade."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

Sisi shut up and simply nodded as the Meddler told his story of the war, the idea of a weapon and how he eventually build it. She shook her head in disbelief, she couldn't even begin to dream that such a weapon would exist, a weapon that could prevent whole star systems from ever igniting. It was worse then genocide, it was like it would have never been.

She stared at him in disbelief at his words on how this Rassilon would have decided to handle the case, what type of monster was that man? Condemn the whole universe to save one's own skin? She took a shuddered breath as she sat back, running her hand through her hair, she thought her father had been the only madman out there after what she had seen from the Doctor and Alec.. but apparently there were more like him after all. Somehow she was glad that there were only so immensely few left.

It was also the first time she had ever seen Robin show such remorse for a thing he had done. It made the hair on her neck stand up, she knew this was beyond serious.

What he said last made her look at him incredulously.

"I get it all, I get it, why you did it. What I don't understand is why you would want to open that up again. Just to pull out a biodata signature? Why would you want that biodata signature so badly? What is it you're not telling me?" She said searching his eyes.

[The First Doctor]

"I get it all, I get it, why you did it. What I don't understand is why you would want to open that up again. Just to pull out a biodata signature? Why would you want that biodata signature so badly? What is it you're not telling me?" She said searching his eyes.

"The Specialist," he said, softly.

He could see the confusion on her face, and it puzzled him. Lost in his memories, it took the Meddler nearly a minute to remember that Sisi wasn't a Time Lord, that the name meant nothing to her.

"She's..." he struggled for words to explain something so integral to his civilization that it had never needed explaining. "She's... she was... the keeper of the Halls of Eileithyia."

That wasn't enough. It explained everything, and yet nothing.

"The Halls are where we're born. All of us, even the rare ones conceived and gestated through biological means. They're where we're taken, if we fail the Initiation, to be cared for and put back together, if possible. She's..."

He could see the blackened walls in his mind, smell the creches burning, hear the dull metallic sound of the Cybermen echoing in the Halls...

But that doesn't explain it really, does it? he asked himself. He shook his head, and forced a grin.

"And none of that, really, is the reason," he admitted aloud. "Gallifrey was full of ancient, hallowed places." He considered his next words carefully. "I'm a monster, Sisi. A genuine abomination."

His words seemed to catch in his throat. "I'm... I..."

He closed his eyes, and tried a different tack. 'We were all good at different things, and most of our talents awake during the Initiation. Me, I'm good at Time. It's not just theory, not even our inherent perception of its motions." He tapped himself on the head. "It's in here. The Vortex is in my head. I understand Time the way so few, even amongst the Time Lords, understand it."

It took an effort even to say this much. "And that, and what your... what the Council did to us... it made me mad." A bitter laugh. "March hare working as a hatter mad. And once, that madness drove me to an action that..."

He swallowed, and blurted it out. "I killed myself, Sisi. I traveled back in my own timeline and killed myself before I was born. The rite of the Grandfather Paradox, it severed me completely from the bonds of causality. I have no temporal shadow. I'm a non-event in spacetime."

He couldn't look at her, couldn't face the horror that he would see in her eyes. "The Specialist... she was just like me," his words were a torrent now. "She had the same connection to Time, but it was never twisted by the Council. And when I told her what I had done, what sort of an abomination I was, all she said was.. All she said was 'Excuse me? You were the one that caused me to have a migraine for a week?'. And she laughed. And she never judged me for what I'd done."

His voice shook, and he couldn't look at his niece. "That was all. She was the Keeper of the Halls of Eileithyia, and she didn't even flinch at what I was."

Silence for a moment. "I would have burned the universe for her, Sisi. And that's why I'm doing this. Because she asked."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

She had wanted to interject a few times, but stopped herself every time as Robin had gotten ahead of her. Robin wasn't a person that often spoke of his trouble so she wasn't to look a gifted horse in the much, she let him coil his heart out.

She got a smile on her face, one that was bordering sadness.

"She's like a mother, best friend and lover all in one. She must be an indescribable person." she said softly. Moving over to lean with her elbows on her knees, still sitting next to Robin. His words about killing himself ghosted through her head, the resemblance was eerie and it explained a lot to herself on why some things had had no effect in the past. She looked at the floor, zoning in on a particular tile between her feet.

"Xandavier tried to make me remove myself from history. Told me that ma would survive if I shot myself as an infant, to 'complete the circle' or something among those lines. I was going to do it, I didn't want to live the way I was living any more, but at the last moment I diverted my gun and shot him. He was holding me in his arms, looking at me like I was the most precious thing he had ever seen. He was still under the chameleon arch of course.." She trailed off for a moment, the images playing vividly before her eyes again, she suddenly took a deep breath again. "Anyway, I digress. I shot Xandavier and he didn't die, at all."

She finally turned her face back to Robin and gave him a small smile.

"She was right you know, it doesn't matter what you are, it's about what's in here." She tapped on her skin where below her heart was. "You're the Meddler because that's what you're good at, because you are much more finely tuned to know where the limits are. Where others would think you a fool, you know exactly what you are doing."

She gave him a smile, one that fully reached her eyes this time.

"You are a fool for doing this Robin, indeed you are. But I trust you to know what you're doing. Don't take any unnecessary risks that she wouldn't want you to take either."

She suddenly grinned.

"You're not getting rid of me beforehand though. I'd rather come along to make sure you don't die on me. Or regenerate for that matter, your face is quite pleasing to the eye as it is now." She patted him on the cheek and laughed, getting up on her feet, facing towrads the console.

"So, where off to first?"

[The First Doctor]

"She's like a mother, best friend and lover all in one. She must be an indescribable person." she said softly. Moving over to lean with her elbows on her knees, still sitting next to Robin.

"She is," he agreed.

"Xandavier tried to make me remove myself from history. Told me that ma would survive if I shot myself as an infant, to 'complete the circle' or something among those lines. I was going to do it, I didn't want to live the way I was living any more, but at the last moment I diverted my gun and shot him. He was holding me in his arms, looking at me like I was the most precious thing he had ever seen. He was still under the chameleon arch of course.." She trailed off for a moment, the images playing vividly before her eyes again, she suddenly took a deep breath again. "Anyway, I digress. I shot Xandavier and he didn't die, at all."

"Would have worked," he said absently, still unable to face her. "Probably for the best you didn't, though. The cost is... high."

"She was right you know, it doesn't matter what you are, it's about what's in here." She tapped on her skin where below her heart was. "You're the Meddler because that's what you're good at, because you are much more finely tuned to know where the limits are. Where others would think you a fool, you know exactly what you are doing."

He turned his head to look at her, confusion and hope written across his face, like a dog that expects to be beaten getting a treat instead.

She gave him a smile, one that fully reached her eyes this time.

"You are a fool for doing this Robin, indeed you are. But I trust you to know what you're doing. Don't take any unnecessary risks that she wouldn't want you to take either."

She suddenly grinned.

"You're not getting rid of me beforehand though. I'd rather come along to make sure you don't die on me. Or regenerate for that matter, your face is quite pleasing to the eye as it is now." She patted him on the cheek and laughed, getting up on her feet, facing towrads the console.

"So, where off to first?"

He sat, shocked to his core. And then he laughed, long and loud, a mixture of joy and relief. "You're absolutely right!" he declared, leaping to his feet and then, with a whoop, leaping onto the vacated chair and tipping it backward. He balanced like an acrobat, keeping it stable and balanced on two legs, one foot on the seat and the other on the back. "The Fool!" he proclaimed, arms thrown wide, "Dancing on the edge of the Abyss!"

Shifting his weight to drop the chair back down on its legs, he hopped to the ground and clapped his hands together. "Where to first?" he repeated. "Well, first to the console. It's high time I started teaching you how to fly the TARDIS. And then?"

His grin grew broad as he swept towards the controls. "And then, galactic coordinates ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero center. And there, in the constellation of Kasterborous, we will engage in the most dramatic act of grave-robbing the Universe has ever seen!"

Stopping by the console, he beckoned Sisi closer. "This is the navigator's station. Pay attention, now..."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

Sisi's face broke into a grin as she saw the Time Lord balance on the chair, riding it like he was able to defy the very laws of nature. She laughed with him, the sound merry. Her eyes glowed a warm green, something that happened when she was feeling a strong emotion.

"Oh you're a Fool all right sometimes!" She laughed and mock played to kick the chair over, but he had been ahead of her again with both his feet firmly planted on the floor again.

Her face broke into that of a child at the candy store when he told her he'd teach her to ride the TARDIS, she outright giggled with joy and outright jumped, grabbing Robin around the neck and giving him a good smacker on the cheek of sheer utter gratitude. She giggled again, completely obvious of Robin's reaction as she turned to the console, her laugh almost sounded mad, like a witch. Perhaps Robin was rubbing off on her after all. She was losing her her grip on cultured controls and she was loving it.

"Really?!" She asked and smiled broadly at the console, she had dreamed of being able to fly this beauty since the first time she had seen Robin do it.

[The First Doctor]

"Really?" Sisi asked - almost squealed - excitedly.

"Yep," the Meddler answered. "It's not all that hard to learn to fly a TARDIS. Not if she (or he, although its rare for a TARDIS to have a masculine feel) likes you. Because then the TARDIS works with you." He gestured at the console. "You'll still need to learn what the various controls actually do, but you'll imprint them as you work through the gestalt. They very quickly become second nature, as long as you're paying attention."

He listed the various toggles and dials and switches and levers of the navigation console.

"We always had it easy. The Rassilon Imprimature is part of our biodata, so a TARDIS - particularly a young TARDIS - can't help but like us. The older ones...?" He shrugged. "They can be temperamental and uncooperative, but its still almost impossible for one to actually refuse to cooperate."

He eyed her speculatively. "Now you, with your half-Sidhe, half-Arched Gallifreyan heritage..." He shrugged. "It's possible you might have inherited the Imprimature. I mean, the way the Arches work you're kind of half-Sidhe, half-human, half-Gallifreyan."

Then he patted the console affectionately. "Either way, I don't think it'll matter much. Everything's a little... fuzzy..." a flicker of pain and loss, quickly suppressed, "But I seem to recall that she accepted you into the gestalt without flinching. So you're off to a good start."

---

Time passed. A week? Two? Three? It was hard to tell. Learning to fly the TARDIS consisted largely of the Meddler naming components and demanding she memorize the name and function of each, and he tended to forget that his niece needed to sleep. He spent the enforced breaks in the training schedule at his desk, a fresh sheet of butcher's paper spread out, working away with the narrowest point brush he owned. The curvilinear designs looked like circuit diagrams, with lines thinner than a human hair.

Finally, he seemed satisfied with her progress. "Not perfect, mind you," he said. "You've still got a lot of work ahead of you, but I think you're ready enough for the next step."

He spun a chair around to face the console, and sat with his arms folded across his chest. "Pick a galaxy, any galaxy. Take us to between 3 and 7 astronomical units of that galaxy's supermassive black hole."

He gestured expectantly. "You have the helm."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

She had been able to feel the TARDIS for weeks, no perhaps months now. She lost a track a bit on how long she had been travelling with Robin. She had never expected to be able to fly this beauty one day. Even though she may be part Arched-Gallifreyan as the Meddler so kindly put it, most of the technical mumbo jumbo went right over her head. But there was one way she realised she was able to fly the TARDIS, by simply feeling what she was doing and remembering how she'd react to certain levers being pulled, or buttons being flicked on and off. Robin eventually had all the buttons and levers drilled into her head and she humoured him, after all he was the teacher. Still, half of the 'high vocabulary' explanations Robin gave her to why certain switches worked in different situations went often over her head, instead she fine tuned to what the heart of the TARDIS was telling her, subtle differences in energy levels and it even emitted different emotions like other being did. Very subtle, but strong enough for her to pick up.

In short, the reason she could fly the TARDIS after the weeks of training Robin had given her was because the TARDIS was a living being, if had been totally mechanical she would have been completely lost.

"Perhaps it is the Rassilon Imprimature, perhaps it's not. What I do know though, is that something did slip through that Chameleon Arch when my father conceived me. Mum could never understand why my healing energy was golden. Her and her kinds had always been white or green apparently and never generated mist. Though when I first saw fath- Xandavier regenerate, it suddenly made sense as to where it came from. It looked the exact same as my healing energy, only it made him regenerate. Though it probably comes at a price, I'm pretty sure I cannot regenerate. I was very close to death back then and it never showed up." She didn't exactly elaborate on what that experience was and what had exactly happened. It was still traumatic to her.

Either way, her mind focussed back on the TARDIS, indeed her piloting was far from perfect, she was still fine tuning herself to the TARDIS's facets so to say, even though she was sometimes pulling the right levers before Robin told her to do so. Reading a TARDIS was far more delicate and complicated then that of any other person she had met, difference sometimes so subtle she had completely missed them at first and would have to concentrate hard on noticing them. She would seclude herself from time to time and just sit there with her eyes closed, tuning in to the great big machine around them. Looking for subtle differences which she wouldn't have noticed at first with all the sight and sound stimulants around her when Robin was teaching her. It was all starting to come more natural, slowly. She realised with a smile the heart of the TARDIS was the first entity she had ever felt, that felt close to seeming like a God. Or better, a Goddess. Her moods were fickle and ever changing, complicated but absolutely fascinating and inspirational.

"I think I just realised why faith is so important to human beings." She said softly, actually more to the TARDIS then the Time Lord who flew her.

Pick a galaxy, any galaxy. Take us to between 3 and 7 astronomical units of that galaxy's supermassive black hole.

You have the helm.

[/center]

She looked up from from her place behind the console, her eyes were softly glowing as she smirked at Robin sitting behind the console with his arms crossed, his face unreadable. He was testing her, she knew this. She wouldn't disappoint him.

"Andromeda Galaxy" She punched in a few numbers in the TARDIS's keyboard and saw Gallifreyan circle writing flash across the screen. She had still trouble reading it but was starting to recognise some of it's symbolisms, enough for now. She located the black hole and coordinated the TARDIS to 5 AU away from it, it was on the safe side.

She wondered if the black hole was artificial.

"You're recharging her on the singularity?" She asked. She did pay attention Robin when he was explaining things or was rambling away again.

[The First Doctor]

"Perhaps it is the Rassilon Imprimature, perhaps it's not. What I do know though, is that something did slip through that Chameleon Arch when my father conceived me. Mum could never understand why my healing energy was golden. Her and her kinds had always been white or green apparently and never generated mist. Though when I first saw fath- Xandavier regenerate, it suddenly made sense as to where it came from. It looked the exact same as my healing energy, only it made him regenerate. Though it probably comes at a price, I'm pretty sure I cannot regenerate. I was very close to death back then and it never showed up." She didn't exactly elaborate on what that experience was and what had exactly happened. It was still traumatic to her.

"Whatever it is," he said, "It's given you a knack for piloting the TARDIS. You're progressing nearly as fast as could be expected from any Academy student your age, and that's without Initiation or a decade of training behind you."

He tapped the console with his cane. "Now, show me the control sequence for initiating the primary dematerialization sequence."

---

"I think I just realised why faith is so important to human beings." She said softly, actually more to the TARDIS then the Time Lord who flew her.

At his desk, eyes burning with the light of the Vortex, the Meddler smiled a gentle smile. He said nothing.

---

She looked up from from her place behind the console, her eyes were softly glowing as she smirked at Robin sitting behind the console with his arms crossed, his face unreadable. He was testing her, she knew this. She wouldn't disappoint him.

"Andromeda Galaxy" She punched in a few numbers in the TARDIS's keyboard and saw Gallifreyan circle writing flash across the screen. She had still trouble reading it but was starting to recognise some of it's symbolisms, enough for now. She located the black hole and coordinated the TARDIS to 5 AU away from it, it was on the safe side.

Rising from his chair, he walked over and looked at the readouts, then nodded in approval. "Very well done."

"You're recharging her on the singularity?" She asked. She did pay attention Robin when he was explaining things or was rambling away again.

"No, no need," he said with a laugh, "And I'm surprised you haven't noticed. We've got our own Eye on board - not as finely tuned as the Eye of Harmony, but it gets the job done."

He threw a lever and allowed the main doors to open into space. Beyond, blackness eclipsed the densely-packed stars of the galactic core. "Look at it," he said, "a hundred million solar masses, packed into something that would barely engulf the orbit of Jupiter."

Slowly, solemnly, he moved to stand at the door, his face illuminated by an eerie witchlight. "We're just barely outside the Schwarzschild radius and the event horizon, and well within the accretion disk."

The light flickered and danced. "One of the most powerful forces the natural universe has ever produced, so close we could almost reach out and touch it."

He stared deep into the utter blackness. "And when you gaze long into an abyss," he whispered, "the abyss also gazes into you."

He spun on his heel. "No," he said, striding back towards the console. "We aren't here to recharge. We're here to practice." He gave Sisi a grin. "We're going to test my theories on how to recover biodatic information from a Singularity here, before we try it on Gallifrey."

A grim chuckle. "After all, the worst that can happen here is we tear that beast apart, and the stars of Andromeda spin off across the universe on their own trajectories."

[Sisilaya Vulmecura]

"Whatever it is," he said, "It's given you a knack for piloting the TARDIS. You're progressing nearly as fast as could be expected from any Academy student your age, and that's without Initiation or a decade of training behind you."

He tapped the console with his cane. "Now, show me the control sequence for initiating the primary dematerialization sequence."

She looked at him for a moment, wondering if she should tell him exactly how she was piloting the TARDIS, that she could actually feel it as a living being and was able to read it, even though through difficulties at it's complexity sometimes. The decision was made or her when he broke her thoughts with his command, the tapping of his cane on the console crisp and snapping her attention to him. Primary dematerialization sequence, right.

She went to work on the same panel that housed the main controls, explaining that after all the pre-flight adjustments were made, the ship could be safely dematerialised by use of the dematerialisation lever, her hand lingering over it shortly. She explained that during dematerialisation it would be wise to monitor all read-outs containing relevant flight information, pointing at several scanners, meters and preserves.

"If the power bank isn't up to full capacity yet, the automatic dematerialisation sequence will come into action. This not only last just three seconds, but instead of entering the time vortex directly it more skims along the top which seriously limits the range of travel. Oh, not to forget, do place the master drive switch in the upper position before flight begins, so power goes to successful dematerialisation. When that's done, switch it back down during the first 10 seconds of flight to channel most of the energy back to the artron power drive used for flight."

Well that was a whole cookie. But it made sense.

-------------------------------------------------------------

His remark on the power source on board made her suddenly smack her own forehead at her own stupidity, of course she knew that the TARDIS had it's own power drive. Robin had explained before how the Eye kept it running. Hell she could even feel it if she went close enough to the room that housed it. "Sorry.. that was, stupid of me. I knew that." she murmured in apology.

Yet her breath was taken away as the doors opened, showing the vast universe outside. She slowly walked over to it, her eyes wide with.. wonderment? It was like gazing at the stars at night, yet at the same time it was so much more majestic. That's when her eyes finally zoned in on the massive black hole there. Her jaw tightened as she came to stand next to the Meddler. Her gaze for a moment rested upon his face as the starlight reflected on it, before she turned her gaze back to the black hole again.

"A black hole, where volume is absolute 0. Everything gets crushed into nothingness." She whispered softly

When he once again noted there were not here to recharge, rather to practice he gave her a grin that forced her to tear her eyes away from the black hole. She seemed dazed for a moment, her eyes glowing softly before she shook it off and looked at Robin straight again.

"Practice? I see now!" She said with a laugh, looking at the black hole again. "Is this a single point singularity or a moving ring shaped? How do you deal with both of them?" She answered, her eyes starting t glow again as she stared at the black hole. Perfect guinea pig it was indeed. She wonder what he'd be able to extract from it.

She gave him a grin.