Earthly Times

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard had been sitting in the Vortex for the past few days, not doing much at all. Sometimes he liked to do that, it allowed him to think of new ideas and all. But right now, he was more bored than inspired. In days like this, he wished he had a companion and such thoughts were not welcomed in his mind. It was at that time that the Valeyard decided it was time for a little trip, if he didn’t he was sure he would find himself with an annoying companion on board.

He wasn’t that far away from the control room or she had changed her corridors to lead him there faster. Whatever the reason in less than five minutes he stood before the randomizer. With a quick push, she and him were spinning away and out of the Vortex. She landed quickly and with one look at the scanner he knew where they were. After all this years one thing didn’t change, she favored the little planet above all others. He could pick another one, but why bother. Plus it had been a while since the Valeyard had visited Earth. Even if he didn’t admit it, he missed the little rock.

Earth was his second home, he hated his past both not the Earth. He moved outside, taking in the fresh country side air. Scotland, probably late 19th , he guessed. He looked back at the TARDIS, rolling his eyes at her chosen disguise. It was a simple small home, but it was painted blue, police box blue.

Looking at his surrounding again, the Valeyard could make out a group of people not that far away from his position. He decided to walk toward them and not ten minutes later he was walking into a small, but busy town. Humans walked pass him, ignoring him for the most part. He had pilled his Time Lord robes, choosing a more adequate outfit, not that different from the ones used by the Doctor earliest form. But even so, even with those robes he doubted they had time to pay him much attention.

The Valeyard walked some more, before arriving at a small building, a bit larger than the others in town. It was a little hotel, with pub and even baths included. He chose the establishment to get something to eat and even drink, it had been a while since he had eaten natural food. It was much easier to eat the one the TARDIS prepared, but the taste was never the same. Sitting down, he began to loom over his choices.

[The Eighth Doctor]

(Say, would you mind if a certain penguin came in? I can't seem to find a thread to stick him! Poor homeless Frobisher!)

[The Valeyard]

(Not at all.)

[Frobisher]

Frobisher carefully peeked out from behind the large oak tree. He listened but for the time being heard nothing but the wind in the branches and the almost constant bird song. he allowed himself to relax but only slightly.

"What IS it with humans?" he groused to himself. "You'd think they've never seen a penguin before! Here they have all these feathered twits flitting around above their heads but let one simple little penguin waddle through town and they go all to pieces!"

He shook himself vigorously, trying to get his nerves back. The past couple of years had been hard on him. First the bar had been closed because of an outbreak of some alien disease then he lost his beloved Caralla to it. Heart-broken, he had gone back to a bit of space travel but that soon lost its appeal. It's no fun to travel by oneself.

He had now been left on Earth because he only had half fare but it wasn't the one he had been on before. "Blasted time loop!" he growled, kicking an acorn. "Stupid era to be in! No modern conviences! No movies! No baseball! No nuthin'! I bet indoor plumbing is still just a fantasy here too!"

He could, of course, change his shape to better fit the area but it wasn't as easy as it sounded. First off, his Caralla had loved him in his penguin form so he was loathe to give it up. Not to mention changing meant putting in a bit of effort. One had to really concentrate on the wanted form, then will each and every body part to give up its place and move elsewhere. It was like getting a little old lady to give up her seat on a city bus, they just didn't want to move. There was then a period of vertigo as he got used to standing different, along with new sights and sounds. If he had to change into something rather large or very small it would also make him queasy for a bit. No, he'd rather just stay the way he was.

But those...people....farmers....peasents! Whatever they were! They took after him like a bunch of women from a diet convention would take after a cart of strawberry creme puffs! Didn't they have chickens to eat in this time, whenever it was? Or cows? Penguins aren't edible to humans, didn't they know that??

He leaned against the oak tree and closed his eyes in weariness. Penguins also aren't made for running. Thankfully the forest with its piles of brush and undergrowth was nearby and the pursuers seemed reluctant to venture in very far. He gave a slight thought as to why, then shrugged it off.

He promptly thought about the reason again when he heard a faint howl. His eyes popped open in alarm. "Oh great! Just great! If I'm not going to be turned into Kentucky Fried Penguin for people, I'm on the menu for the wolves! Sheesh, I gotta hide and quick!"

He fled the woods as fast as a penguin could manage, which left him panting heavily after just a few minutes. "Is this how it's going to be? Is this how I'm going to end?" he moaned. "Caralla! I may be with you soon! It just might be piece by piece though!"

He tumbled down a small hill then regained his feet. Then he blinked. Stared. Blinked again. Was it...true? Was that really the TARDIS!?

He took one step forward. The vision didn't change. Then he stepped forward again. Still the blue box remained. His steps became a fast run and he almost collided with it.

"Oh TARDIS! The most beautiful sight I have ever held with these eyes! Doctor! It must be you! It HAS to be you! Hey! Oi! It's ME! Frobisher! Lemme in!!!!" He whapped at the doors with his flippers frantically. "Oh ya just GOTTA let me in! Please! get me away from here! Everybody wants to dine on penguin here! DOCTOOORRR!!!"

The doors slowly creaked open and Frobisher whisked himself inside. Closing the doors he leaned against them in relief. "Whew! Boy oh boy am I glad you're here! Doc!."

Recieving no answer he stood up and looked around. It did seem a bit dim. "Doc? Hey Doc! You here? Hey!"

No answer. Frobisher gave a shrug. "Ah well, he'll be back. No need to wait up and be all formal. Now let's see...where's the food dispenser?"

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard didn’t last that long in the small town, the Earth was part of him. But this wasn’t an enjoyable era, not only it lacked technology. It also lacked things like hygiene, indoor flushing and everything else he had grown to love over the year. He could see the dirt in their faces, the sweat from work and the heat, they weren’t the type of sights he wanted to spend the day looking at. Going against his early decision the Valeyard decided he would pick a different location. Probably one a few thousand years in the future. His walk back went quicker than he remembered. He noticed that the TARDIS was open, but ignored that for now. He wanted to get out of there soon. Not before long, he was welcoming the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing away.

This time instead of using the randomizer the Valeyard installed actual coordinates, one of Earth’s colonies not that far from the Milky Way, 51st Century. He’d heard some encouraging things about the small planet and he’d been wanting to visit for a while now. The TARDIS materialized one more and the Valeyard moved to check the monitor, the location was pretty close. He was in the planet but a few years off the date he had wanted. He’ll have to fix that soon, maybe check back to Gallifrey and “borrow” them. He was still connected to the Matrix and it wouldn’t be difficult. But for now, the planet looked fine. He’d landed close to a beach and the humans there looked relaxed, no flying monsters causing chaos.

The Valeyard patter her slightly and went to get changed. He could still smell the 18th century on him. By the time he was ready and walking back he noticed that something was wrong. He’d made sure that the TARDIS was close, he always did. The only reason why she would be open, was because she’d opened her doors willing. She didn’t do that often but once or twice before she’d opened her doors to one of the Doctor’s old companions. Annoyed at her, he checked and she informed him that indeed a companion was aboard. He decided to walk faster back toward the console room, knowing the Doctor’s companions like he did. They’ll probably return to that place.

[Frobisher]

Frobisher was in seventh heaven. Not only did he find the food dispenser again but he discovered they could give out large size chocolate bars as well as sardines. At one point he considered combining the two, chocolate-covered sardines! What more could a penguin want? But decided that the Doctor might be against it. Frobisher wasn't sure if the Time Lord had really gotten over the one mistake of covering the floor of the room with Mars bars. Anybody could make that error! After all, that was the first time he had tried to use the mechanism!

After eating his fill of sardines and finishing the meal off with several chocolate bars he gave a slight burp and decided to go back to the console room again. Surely the Doctor would be back by now. As he got nearer he heard the faint sounds of another person walking. "Good! He's home!"

The penguin burst in the console room and turned to the other doorway. "Hey Doc! Guess who!? G'wan! Three tries! You'll never guess!"

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard almost jumped at the sound of the Doctor's name, thankfully he regained his composure quickly. Turning around he glared at the penguin. It wasn't a real penguin, but a shape shifting alien that had traveled with the Doctor for some time. "I don't go by that name anymore, my name is the Valeyard." If he remembered correctly Frobisher had move done well, had even a wife and a establishment he worked or owned. He couldn’t remember which, it wasn’t that important anyway. What mattered to the Valeyard now was, how he had gotten in.

He lowered himself a bit to look at the other alien in the eye, before he continued to speak. “Now, Frobisher how did you even got inside my TARDIS. I hope you didn’t damage her breaking in. that would make me upset.” He tried to sound threatening, but it was a bit difficult when he was talking to what now resembled an Earth bird. “Plus I don’t want any of my-The Doctor’s old companions just walking in here anytime they feel like it.” For the couple times it had happened, things hadn’t ended well for him nor they. With another sharp look he stood back up.

[Frobisher]

Frobisher backed away from the form looming over him. "Wow Doc! You've really....changed. I mean...ok...you're the....what was it again? Veilyerd?"

He shook his head. "An you've gone all serious too! What happened? You fall into a nova or somthing? I just walked in here. I had to, there was a pack of wolves after me! Well...not -right- after me but they would have when they got close enough! You know me, I don't wait around for trouble! When I saw the TARDIS I just couldn't believe it. It was like an oasis in the middle of the sand dunes of Keesher. Ever been there? Forget it, you don't want to! Darn sand dunes keep moving around, shifting positions every half hour. Makes one dizzy just watching! Anyways, I ran up to the doors and they just...opened. Y'know?"

He kept edging away as he talked, there was just something about this Time Lord he couldn't quite understand. It -had- to be the Doctor, else why would he have the TARDIS? Or perhaps...it -wasn't- the Doctor. Had some other Time Lord murdered his friend and stolen the wonderous machine?

He drew himself up to his full penguin height (which wasn't much, just under four feet) and tried to stare fiercely at the tall form. "All right, just what did you do with the Doc?!"

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard didn’t even bother to stop himself from eye-rolling, he’d gone through this with the Doctor Sixth generation a million times already. “Valeyard, my name is the Valeyard.” He moved back a little bit, still eyeing the small alien. He was talking about dogs, wolves or something like that. He wasn’t paying that much attention anymore, he had to think of a way to get Frobisher out of there and back to whatever place he came from. He didn’t do companions like that anymore. It was too much trouble and not worth it.

True, he sometimes brought some people in. He wasn’t above being lonely and sometimes someone around made things interesting. But, there was a line when it came to the Doctor’s old companions. Especially not the ones that were around with that version of the Doctor. “The TARDIS’s doors just don’t open like that, I hope for your own good, she‘s fine.”(that was a lie, but he enjoyed bringing some fear into all types of conversations.)

“Oh, but I am the Doctor. Or part of him at least, all that is bad, rotten and wrong about the Doctor. I didn’t do anything to him, yet. I simply grew out of his messiah personality. I new Time Lord, born from his last regeneration. So in a few words, this is rightfully my TARDIS and you’re intruding on her.”

[Frobisher]

Frobisher stopped backing away and just stood and stared. "You..YOU'RE the Doc??? Wow. Just...wow. Talk about mood swings!! And don't worry about the TARDIS. Me and her are old friends! Ain't we?"

He reached out to touch the console but accidently hit a few switches in the movement. The soft hum became a loud screech until Frobisher frantically moved them back in their original positions.

'Heh heh, well...accidents will happen!"

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard sighted, not even bothering to correct the name anymore. That conversation wouldn’t lead anywhere he wanted to go and it’ll probably be a waste of time. After all Frobisher wasn’t going to be around for much longer. Right?

When the TARDIS made a loud screech, the Valeyard ran his hands through his short hair. This was going to be a long ride. Deciding he wasn’t in the mood to keep fighting with the small alien, he walked toward the door.

He was in a relaxing location, with delicious 51st century food and beaches, Space Florida was the place he wanted to be on right now. Plus maybe Frobisher in his current form wouldn’t bother to go out to the sunny beach. That placed a small smile on his lips.

“Look I’ll get you back to whatever place you want after I’m done visiting Space Florida, I heard they have the best ice-cream in this part of the Galaxy, you can stay here and don’t touch anything or tag along.” Thinking about it, he’d rather not leave the small alien alone in the TARDIS. Rassilon knew how much damage he could cause.

[Frobisher]

(LOL at first I had a hard time fitting ice cream with the Valeyard but then, why shouldn't he enjoy ice cream, right? Who doesn't? )

Frobisher perked up at the thought of more food, even though he had just feasted on sardines and chocolates.
Ice cream? Hey, I'll go along with you, all right? I don't think I've been to Space Florida! That sounds like a great place to visit!" The alien was so eager that his feet did a little bit of a tap dance on the TARDIS floor. "Hey, they still got baseball there, right? The....whadaya call 'em....Florida Marlins?"

[The Valeyard]

The Valeyard wasn’t a violent person, he also didn’t enjoy hitting or injuring himself. But right now he had the strongest feeling to smack Frobisher or himself. Right now he was leaning toward the later more, probably because he should have grown used to this. During all his years he always ended up with the most irritating and annoying of the Doctor’s companions. Been in the same room with Me(I <3) hadn’t been bad enough, he was now stuck with one of the most talkative ones.

The worse part that both of them had been companions of the Doctor’s Sixth self, that just validated the idea that the universe was out to get him. Or like the human expression, karma. He just hoped he would stay out of Tegan’s(<3) path at least for the next two centuries.

“Fine, but I have now idea how this century feels about talking penguins.” He was about to say he wouldn’t pay for anything, but he doubted Frobisher carried any money with him. In the worse chance, they could simply make a run for it. It worked when he was still the Doctor, why wouldn’t it still work for him. He also probably still had some psychic paper lying around his pockets. I don't know, do I look like the person that follows Earth sports?" He wasn't mentioning he still followed a game of cricket or two.

[Frobisher]

Frobisher waved a wing. "Aw I bet they've seen stranger things. Worse case senario they'd stick me in SeaWorld or something. Well, if that's still around. Heh, be pretty funny if we went there and saw ol' Shamu was grey and white instead of black and white, eh Doc? Do orcas grow beards? He'd have quite a long one at this point! Have to make one big walker for him too! Come see Shamu! Wolrd's Oldest Orca! C'mon Doc! Shake a leg! Open the door and let's get going!"

[The Valeyard]

(not my best, sorry)

The Valeyard stopped, turning around to look at the small alien. He picked t the bridge of his nose in annoyance, he had thought that Tegan talked a lot, he had believed that Peri and Mel reached at times levels of talkativeness that not other creature could reach. But he had been wrong Frobisher could actually reach even higher levels on that zone, he could actually maybe give them a run for their title. “Here is a fun game, why don’t we play. Let’s stop talking so Mr. Valeyard doesn’t sell me to an exotic restaurant.” The Valeyard glared at the alien, he wouldn’t do that(maybe or at least not for now), but hopefully it would be enough to silence him for a bit.

“Look you can go anywhere you want. I‘m not here to baby-sit the Doctor’s companion. I‘m actually trying to put as much distance between them and myself as I can.” The Valeyard finally turned, walking toward the door and opening it. Everything looked fine outside, humans and diverse types of aliens were walking alongside the seashore. For the most part they ignored they ignored the blue box sitting not far from them, if it was because they were used to strange things or they simply didn’t care the Valeyard couldn’t tell.

The Valeyard walked fully out, taking a better look at his surrounding. He’d only visited Florida in Earth a few times, but he could tell that this copy of the place was actually pretty accurate. Other than the notable more advanced technology, aliens walking freely without disguises, they had done a pretty good job. It was probably early winter now, it wasn’t as hot as he remember Florida to be and there were notable less people walking around. But the Valeyard wasn’t here for the warm, he hates sweating and sunburns didn’t go well with his skin. He was here to rest for a bit and now maybe get rid of his current tagalong, maybe he would find an alien and stay behind. So the weather didn’t bother him much.

“Well let’s go I’m hungry.” 19th Century Earth and it’s lack of hygiene didn’t make for a favorable place to eat. He didn’t bother to look and see if Frobisher was following him, he moved quickly to a small food stand. There were two humans and s green alien sitting on it, but they were busy talking. The Valeyard picked a chair away from them, taking one of the menus to see what Space Florida had to offer.